Choice is Free, But It’s Going to Cost You
February 5, 2010
One of my favorite parenting tips is one that I employed when my daughter was a toddler. Often times, a source of frustration for children is having too many choices, and parents are told to narrow down the options for kids in order to make life easier. I used this concept to make my daughter feel more in control of daily decisions, like what shirt to wear, without opening up all of the options that her closet presented. This meant she didn’t leave the house dressed in the equivalent of a Halloween costume for school, but she still had ‘picked out her outfit’. The same strategy still works for meals, clothing, and extracurricular activities. She feels good, I feel good, and all is well!
As an adult, I’ve encountered so many individuals who feel as though they have NO choices whatsoever; I’ve even been there. It is as though we go from being given all of the options to pacify us as children to growing up and being told that we have little to no say in how we live. We are also hit with the devils over our shoulders that shriek, “What would ______ think?!?!?” and distract us from our destiny. It is a battle to go against the flow and make unpopular decisions, but the opponents in the battle are the only part you don’t have control over.
When it comes to decisions, big and small, you should generally go with what you want to do and what you believe is best for you. Who is going to disagree with that? Well, it might be everyone that you currently surround yourself with, but the freeing thing about their reaction is that it is just that-THEIRS. You have no responsibility with regards to how they react to your choices. Granted, there may be consequences, but fearing those and acting from that fear will get you stuck, good and fast. Acting from a place of love, even if it is love for yourself, means that you are on the right path. That doesn’t mean that it will be easy or that people in your life won’t have reactions to your actions, but it is your choice! Treating individuals’ reactions as their opinions-exactly what they are-empowers them because they feel as though they’ve had their say, and it also empowers you because you are reserving your life as yours to live.
This isn’t a permission slip to become a sociopath and break various laws because it ‘feels right’. However, it is a reminder that giving up your power to choose is a choice-no one can take your right to live according to what you believe is right from you unless you give it away. Owning your decisions and the consequences that follow are steps necessary to fulfilling what your purpose is. There will always be a devil or a distraction, but trust that the obstacle is an investment in your future.
