Karmic Absolution

My cat, Karma, is one of two beloved fur children in our household.  I adopted Karma in May 2008, when my divorce was finalizing and my new life was beginning.  As a formal send-off (and perhaps motivator) to my allergic ex-husband, I wandered into a pet store and to the adoption section.  Thanks to a nearby store associate, I was able to hold all sorts of cats and kittens, but then saw this calico cat in a corner cage making Stevie Wonder-like head motions as my voice and the employee’s bounced off of the cement floor and walls.  I was intrigued, to say the least. 

It turned out the cat was microphthalmic, meaning born with incredibly small, barely visible eyes.  An old woman with several cats had been taking care of her, then suddenly died.  Unable to care for all of the cats, the woman’s granddaughter brought several of them to the pet store in hopes that a local adoption agency could help.  The poor feline ended up getting the works, from basic testing to shots to a pricy surgery that sewed her eye sockets shut in order to make her more ‘adoptable’.  She would need a home that was willing to take in a special needs cat, as well as a family that lacked a penchant for moving their furniture often.  We were a perfect match.  I was incredibly open to having a calm, somewhat lazy cat that would be a source of companionship with a dash of entertainment.  I was nearly in tears after seeing little Karma (her given name by Mixed Up Mutts), and visited her three more times that day before finally bringing her home. 

 The first few days, she was scared witless, but as she trekked around the downstairs portion of the house, calculating steps and noting textures and smells, she soon strode around with the confidence of a ‘seer’.  I soon realized that special needs in the pet world must be very open to interpretation.  When you say her name, she ‘looks’ right at you.  When she hears the door open to the closet that houses the vacuum, she blows up like a puffer fish and is inconsolable for at least two hours whether vacuuming takes place or not.  Eventually I was coming home from work to find her upstairs in a closet, having navigated a split staircase and at least three doorways in order to reach her destination.  I realized that I was free to move the furniture as I saw fit.  Nine months after incorporating her into my home, she was joined by a pit bull named Sally.  Though Karma mostly wears her seniority as cordially as a porcupine wears its quills, both cohabitate in enough peace that I have enough pictures to make several years’ worth of calendars of “Eyeless Cat and Bully Breed Snuggling Ever So Cutely”.

I looked up the definition of ‘karma’ solely for the purpose of this blog, and discovered that the Wikipedia definition is ‘a term used in Buddhism specifically for those actions which spring from mental intent’ -the ONLY way my dear Karma knows how to base her actions!   My cat is an amazing reminder to me of how I should be proceeding through my life.  She hasn’t ever been able to see where her next step will take her, yet after a brief session of feeling out her surroundings, she climbs and runs with the ferocity of a panther.  She has never been able to see for herself that Sally is ten times heavier with a mouth that could lovingly cradle a calico’s head inside of it, so she just thinks to herself, “Whatever this furry thing is, it’s warm, it’s comfortable, it’s where I’m going to sleep.”  Her confidence and fearlessness exemplify living with passion-you can proceed forward without having your questions completely answered, if any at all, and still survive.  Pending that you can see, take a look at whatever proverbial furry, large-jawed beast you’re facing and decide for yourself if your reaction will be anxiety and terror, or a nap.  It’s completely acceptable to hear the closet open and be scared to death about the Vacuum Cleaner of Doom, but eventually your tail will settle back to its original size and you can focus your energy on which pit bull you’re going to doze off on next.

Living passionately is difficult to do if you’re accustomed to eliminating any and all ‘what ifs’ before making any moves.  No one can guarantee that simply because a pursuit is rooted in your dreams, you’ll be successful on the first or 500th attempt at bringing them to fruition.  Transitioning from pondering the possibilities of failing at your dream career, relationship, etc. to wondering how you can survive without at least trying to obtain what you envision for yourself can be gradual.  It can also be a sudden feeling that drops down on you like a guillotine, where you feel that any unknown you’re wandering into is a cakewalk compared to the lack of authenticity you’re projecting by living outside of where your passion lies.   Regardless of how you end up wandering around like Karma the Eyeless Wonder, remember that you have an incredible GPS within you that will aid you in finding your way to your destiny.  You’re going to bump into furniture, and trust that the floorplan is going to change on you, but follow the navigational system that led you into the darkness initially, and you’ll find your way around or over any ottoman or coffee table.

Advertisement